Why Try Coaching?

 

"Life coaching..." a term often thrown about but never really defined.  The first time I heard it, I was sure it was NOT for me.  I mean, I've had my struggles. I've seen a counselor, a psychiatrist, doctors, gone to church, gotten a massage now and then...I take care of my personal business, and I do it discreetly.  That's how adults should do it.  Right?  Should...

 

The Magical Land of Should/Shouldn't

I used to live in this land.  In fact, I passionately existed for the shoulds and shouldn'ts.  I was a middle school principal, after all.  No one could tell children, teachers and parents more about what they should and shouldn't do better than me.  

"We shouldn't run in the hall!"  

"We should do our homework"

"You should get your student to school on time"

"I shouldn't have to say this one more time..."

I mean, I worked hard, took care of my personal business, saw to my family, cared about how I appeared to others, was educated and considered successful... I should have had it all together.  

Then, what should have been, no longer existed.  I had 3 firefighters and 2 EMTs in my bedroom because, despite my epinephrine injections, I was still experiencing anaphylactic shock and no one could figure out what exactly had triggered the episode in the first place...yet again.  My dad had recently, suddenly, and tragically died from a massive stroke and, although I knew all about the grieving process, my own physical and mental health had "taken a turn for the worse."  I went on Thanksgiving break, couldn't keep anything down, and the following Monday, instead of returning to work, was placed on long term disability.  More about my personal story on my About Us page. 

My magical land of should quickly unraveled.  I shouldn't be so sick, but I was.  I shouldn't be going into anaphylactic shock unexpectedly and unpredictably, and my dad shouldn't have died. I should be at work!  I should be "doing" something valuable with my life.  I should contribute to our family income.  I should use that Master's degree I worked so hard for.  I shouldn't be a burden!  The shoulds and shouldn'ts plagued me day and night and I got sicker and sicker and sicker...

Therapy and doctors helped, at least temporarily.  But no matter what I tried, looking back at past trauma or my medical history, didn't move me forward.  It was worthwhile work and led to deep intrapersonal knowledge and self compassion, but I remained what felt like "stuck" in my old patterns. I had uncovered past issues and I didn't have any idea what to do with them.

Always a "do-er," I searched for online self-help classes.  I mean, there had to be something I could do to find relief and contribute once again to my family, my life.  I found Conneta (@coachconneta) and I discovered coaching! She introduced me to a concept that, at first, I was unwilling to believe:

She had to be kidding, right?!  I didn't ASK for my illness or these circumstances.  I didn't do anything wrong that caused my dad to die or the loss of my ability to work.  Conneta patiently smiled, "You're right, you didn't ask or do something to cause this, but what you choose to do from here is entirely up to you." 

A light bulb went off and I experienced, what Conneta famously calls, a 1/4 turn.  I wasn't responsible for what had happened in my past, but I was responsible for how I was going to approach my future and for the success or failure that I would create.  She somehow had seamlessly shifted my perspective from what had happened to me to all the choices I had moving forward.  And quite simply, I had no idea what I wanted moving forward, I was just upset about where I had been.  I had spent so much time thinking about what I no longer had (an important step in the grieving process) that I couldn't imagine what I could have in my future.  I had placed so much value on the things I did before I was sick, that I couldn't recognize that I was still worthy when I wasn't doing those things any longer.  After a lot of work, and time, I came to realize that I was worthy by being, not by doing.  The "Magical Land of Should" effortlessly melted away.  I realized should/shouldn't is always someone else's voice, not my own.  The shoulds came from authority figures in my past, or even societal expectations that I believed others considered "normal."  I don't have to choose them at all.  I am here, living and breathing, and I get to choose how to "be" in this world. It's a totally empowering choice! Does that mean anything is possible?  Absolutely!  Does that mean I still have limitations?  Absolutely! And those limitations don't hold me back the way they used to.

Suddenly, a thought process that felt so defeating morphed into opportunity.  I had fun discovering myself for who I truly am, regardless of what I do/earn/achieve.  I realized and overcame subconscious, limiting beliefs holding me back from the best version of myself.  Once I knew who I was, I figured out exactly what I wanted.  And I am creating it every day.  I have more power now, that I'm "sick" and "disabled", than I did before my health concerns. 

Conneta doesn't drive our agenda, I do.  It's about what I want, when and how I want it.  Is that selfish?  Not in my opinion. It's the ultimate self care.  It's clarity, its peace, its joy and anyone can do it!  Conneta, my coach, believed I already had everything I needed inside of me, even when I couldn't see it for myself.

I now have concrete, actionable goals that reap measurable results.  I love my life.  I love solving problems and I choose to help others in the same way Conneta has helped me.  Did my health improve?  Yes!  Did my condition miraculously disappear?  Nope!  Did I find work and career goals that pay the bills, make me feel fulfilled and leave me with plenty of work/life balance?  Yes!

Mindset coaching helps you identify any blocks or limiting beliefs that are standing in the way of your greatest potential.  Together, we can overcome such things and you can know, beyond any doubt, that you are worthy, successful and capable of a well-lived, well-loved life!

LET'S DO IT!

phhcoaching.com

phhcoaching@gmail.com